Thursday, November 17, 2005

A Bridge Too Crazy

The troubled waters under the Crazy Bridge to Nowhere have risen to catastrophic levels. How catastrophic? After years of predictable abuse by the New York Times, John McCain and other Enemies of Crazy, the Bridge was taken out to the woodshed by the muckracking assaassins of... nationally-inserted, mid-paper Parade Magazine.

Here is a sampling of the hard-hitting journalistic endevours that Parade has taken on in recent months:

An aging pop harpieA minimally tempting Housewive
A distinguished graduate of Yale University
A broadly popular African American
A Presidential Assassin*
His accomplice*
Another distinguished graduate of Yale UniversityAnother broadly popular African American
The Fraud Against the American Taxpayer which is
"The Crazy Bridge To Nowhere"

*not actually killers of a President. But Smitz is the flagship face of the "New" West Wing, which is KILLING the show's legacy, until recently the best TV show since MASH.

Wow - A murderer's row of muckraking, eh? That's about like getting rolled for lunch money by the chess team. If you can't get a fluffer-piece from Parade, you may have a loser on your hands.

And, they do.

This week, Congress, in a desperate lunge at the shores of Sanity, pulled the plug.

Or DID THEY? Thanks to Ted Stevens, Alaska does not get the money for the bridge. But they do get the money.

And Stevens calls it a "compromise." More, surely, to come.